How will I have time for that?

I have so many dreams and aspirations for my life, but so much of the time I have a hard time seeing how I will accomplish everything in what seems like so little time. Work is busier than ever, I need to visit my family, and my house needs cleaning. I have a stack of books on my nightstand and another three e-books in progress on my Kindle. I need to exercise and I need a haircut. I am tired, so I drink coffee in the morning, and I go to bed right after dinner most nights – even on the weekends. And still, some of the things I meant to do today, this week, this month, or last year still haven't happened.

A couple of weeks ago, God spoke to Mike and I about some of His plans for our lives. He told us of wonderful things, and reminded us of our greater calling. He called out to us the way a good Father does – praising our God-given talents and strengths and speaking of things to come with exciting expectation. He proved how well He knows us by talking about the areas of our hearts that we keep secret – even those areas that are to the point of secrecy that we aren't fully aware of their continued existence.

The Holy Spirit has a way of pricking our hearts, and when He does we begin to understand our true identity in Christ. It can be a painful experience, but just like a finger prick, it's only enough to bring the blood to surface for a moment. It brings a level of awareness of ourselves and we might even feel vulnerable when it happens. If we turn our ear toward His voice, we begin to understand who we are in the spirit, not just who we are in the physical. I believe that God puts things in motion in the spirit realm before it manifests in the physical realm, which is why we must have faith in the unseen.

Because of this divine setup, sometimes receiving an encouraging, hopeful word from God can be the start of a challenging period of life. He says I will do great things for the Kingdom of God, but how will I have time to work on that? I hardly have time to go to the grocery store! I get anxious to see things unfold, but His ways are not like ours. We tend to think in the natural and believe only what we see, and this mindset actually keeps us from walking out the dream He has for our lives.

Cross
by Audra Lynn
(Listen to the song here.)

How I long to see the picture finished
Painted as a perfect portrait
Void of all the mysteries of my life

The cares of life bend every corner
Taking me in wrong directions
Can I walk despite the pain and strife?

But what is life without all the yearnings of the heart?
And who am I to doubt all You have in store for me?

So I will take up my cross
And I will follow, I will follow
Day by day and choice by choice
I will follow, I will follow

I will enter by the narrow way
For Your cross is the better place
I will follow, I will follow

Come and take me by the narrow gate
For Your cross is the safest place
I will follow, I will follow

Your cross, it is the sweetest place
Your cross, it is the sweetest place

My Prayer
God, I choose to follow You and trust Your Word. I can't see the road ahead, but I don't need to see it in the natural physical world to take the next step. Thank You for reminding me of the call You have on my life so I can embrace my true identity – the one I have in You, in the spirit. Show me day by day and choice by choice how I can push those promises in the spirit through to the natural. Amen.

A New Expression of Love

This weekend I've been more contemplative than usual. Weekends are typically calm and quiet for me lately. If I haven't got plans to go out of town for a family visit, I tend to spend several hours at home alone. It's nice in the sense that I get to relax and unwind my thoughts–I have had a hard time getting work off my mind lately, and it seems I let go best when I do a little housework or go to the gym. But on the other hand, I guess I've been feeling a little lonely during this time. Mike works most of the day during the weekend, and our weekdays are filled with work, school, and commuting.

Yesterday was Saturday and I was alone until Mike got off work and came over around 7pm. We went to dinner with some of our best friends and I enjoyed that very much. We are planning our wedding, and it tends to be the topic of conversation often–as it should be. My life is blessed beyond measure, so I shouldn't be able to find anything to complain about, right?

While driving home, my mind became my enemy and depression began to settle on me. I don't normally deal with depression, but I couldn't even muster the words to express how I was feeling. Mike and I sat in silence almost the whole way home, and then in the moment I hugged him to tell him "bye", I couldn't seem to end his embrace. I actually stood inside his arms–mine folded across my chest as I rested my head on his warm and sturdy frame.

All I could manage to say was, "I don't know what's wrong." Tears began to flow and I tried to explain my odd behavior. The basic thing it all boiled down to was that I felt unhappy with my day-to-day existence.

"I feel like I don't have anything to talk about outside of work. I don't want to talk about work, so I don't have much to say anymore. Even our time together is spent relaying the details of things we experienced throughout the day–we aren't experiencing much together. I'm bored with myself."

As I allowed these strange words to spew from my mouth and the tears to soak into his t-shirt, he held me close and listened. Once I had said all I could think, he began to encourage me and talk about ways we could change our situation. He talked about solutions. He had answers. He held me until I could see the truth about who I am and about why we are where we are and how we stay the course and continue to run towards our goals–both as individuals and as a couple.

This moment not only changed me, but it laid out another level of understanding and clarity of the love God commands of a man for his wife. I will be his wife very soon, and this messy moment showed me how much he really does love me. The Bible says that love edifies. To "edify" means to "build up." Even when I am wrong, love builds me up and lifts me above deception I allow myself to believe–like I did yesterday. God used this to show me how much I can trust Him. It's God that has brought me to this man. My God's love for me is even expressed through my husband-to-be!

God has spoken to me in such a dynamic way about His love for me as a Father. Healing has come in a complete way. I see now that He is about to unfold an entirely new expression of His love for me. I'm so thankful for my God and for His intense love! And I'm thankful that I will soon be married to the man that God knew I needed all along.

Looking for Purpose

A manifold purpose is clearly evident in all of creation, yet still so many of us question our own purpose. Some even convince themselves of the lie that they have NO purpose.

Simple creations have more obvious purposes than complex ones. Man is the most complex creature of all, so why wouldn't it take some time to understand our purpose?

Have patience for understanding to come. Only the Creator knows of every capability, every area of service you are perfect for. He knows every action that inspires your reaction, and every short path to the solutions to problems you face today. The only path to understanding–to TRUTH–is through the way of the Creator. Your Creator has every detail of your existence mapped out on the palm of His hand–etched into the flesh of His heart.

Seek your answers from Him alone. He's the only One with the original blueprint of your mind, heart, and soul–you want to understand purpose and truth for your life, so go to the source of Life and Light! Go after the Creator ALWAYS–every day! You will find all truth, life, and FREEDOM.