Blood is Thicker Than Water

It seems like more and more lately, God is speaking to me about various areas relating to family. It's almost as if all of the little lessons here and there lead back to the act of restoring my family–and really all families. I want to share what God has been teaching me.

There's something that's different about the relationships between family members versus those relationships between friends. We all hear people talk about how "blood is thicker than water" and we accept mentally that even when we don't get along with family, we still have a special bond.

But what about accepting it on a deeper level–on a level that we really feel that truth resonate with our heart and soul? What can we do to make that connection on a heart level?

I see three main actions that can move us into that place of really getting it–even if our families feel divided or not on the same page.

1. LOVE. Love IS the answer. Love never fails. Take off the blinders–whether those blinders are there from your own selfish acceptance of lies from the pit of hell, or from stories passed down or across to you from another family member–take them off and replace them with a lens of LOVE. You'll see that person for all the good that they are as one of God's beautiful creations–they might be a beautiful mess, but they are His nonetheless.

2. HONOR/RESPECT. I believe honoring or respecting someone even when they seem not to deserve it can turn a hard situation into an amazing pivotal moment. I believe honor received turns into strength. So many people make choices for themselves out of a place of shame. Shame makes us hide things. Shame impairs our ability to communicate well. Honor says, "none of that matters to me and I want to know you more." Honor lets someone feel safe to open up and stronger than their demons. It empowers them to overcome shame, and in turn nurtures the ability to give honor and respect back to you and others.

3. FORGIVENESS. Don't just "let it go," but actually pray a prayer of forgiveness. It can sometimes come across as an accusation if we approach someone and tell them we forgive them for such-and-such–especially if there's a disagreement over who was wrong. If someone is apologizing, then I think it's important to tell them that you accept that apology and that you forgive them. If they aren't apologizing or it's over something you have held against them for years, it might be better to start with telling God you forgive them. Pray about whether you should have a conversation and ask God to show you the right moment and give you the right words. You could end up pleasantly surprised with an apology from them before you even bring it up. When we forgive others, we do something that's hard to comprehend. I think it's something like opening the door of a cage. God can get His hands on the situation when we allow Him to by forgiving others.

Obviously these three actions can be keys to resolving conflicts and restoring relationships of any kind. Love, honor, and forgiveness go such a long way above discord and differences of opinion. Set your family on the foundation of the truth of the Word of God by applying biblical principles to every interaction (difficult or pleasant) and watch miraculous things happen.

Family is our roots–restore those relationships so that you have that solid platform to build a good life on. It's important to stand on the foundation of family (and family on the foundation of Truth) in order to fortify every other goal and dream in life–we can't do it alone. In fact, even after I wrote this blog Friday night, I attended a graduation ceremony at Baylor University Saturday morning, and one of the speakers reminded the law students of that fact–they didn't get here on their own, and it's important to recognize that we need family.

Do you have a family member you clash with? How do you deal with family conflicts?