Blood is Thicker Than Water

It seems like more and more lately, God is speaking to me about various areas relating to family. It's almost as if all of the little lessons here and there lead back to the act of restoring my family–and really all families. I want to share what God has been teaching me.

There's something that's different about the relationships between family members versus those relationships between friends. We all hear people talk about how "blood is thicker than water" and we accept mentally that even when we don't get along with family, we still have a special bond.

But what about accepting it on a deeper level–on a level that we really feel that truth resonate with our heart and soul? What can we do to make that connection on a heart level?

I see three main actions that can move us into that place of really getting it–even if our families feel divided or not on the same page.

1. LOVE. Love IS the answer. Love never fails. Take off the blinders–whether those blinders are there from your own selfish acceptance of lies from the pit of hell, or from stories passed down or across to you from another family member–take them off and replace them with a lens of LOVE. You'll see that person for all the good that they are as one of God's beautiful creations–they might be a beautiful mess, but they are His nonetheless.

2. HONOR/RESPECT. I believe honoring or respecting someone even when they seem not to deserve it can turn a hard situation into an amazing pivotal moment. I believe honor received turns into strength. So many people make choices for themselves out of a place of shame. Shame makes us hide things. Shame impairs our ability to communicate well. Honor says, "none of that matters to me and I want to know you more." Honor lets someone feel safe to open up and stronger than their demons. It empowers them to overcome shame, and in turn nurtures the ability to give honor and respect back to you and others.

3. FORGIVENESS. Don't just "let it go," but actually pray a prayer of forgiveness. It can sometimes come across as an accusation if we approach someone and tell them we forgive them for such-and-such–especially if there's a disagreement over who was wrong. If someone is apologizing, then I think it's important to tell them that you accept that apology and that you forgive them. If they aren't apologizing or it's over something you have held against them for years, it might be better to start with telling God you forgive them. Pray about whether you should have a conversation and ask God to show you the right moment and give you the right words. You could end up pleasantly surprised with an apology from them before you even bring it up. When we forgive others, we do something that's hard to comprehend. I think it's something like opening the door of a cage. God can get His hands on the situation when we allow Him to by forgiving others.

Obviously these three actions can be keys to resolving conflicts and restoring relationships of any kind. Love, honor, and forgiveness go such a long way above discord and differences of opinion. Set your family on the foundation of the truth of the Word of God by applying biblical principles to every interaction (difficult or pleasant) and watch miraculous things happen.

Family is our roots–restore those relationships so that you have that solid platform to build a good life on. It's important to stand on the foundation of family (and family on the foundation of Truth) in order to fortify every other goal and dream in life–we can't do it alone. In fact, even after I wrote this blog Friday night, I attended a graduation ceremony at Baylor University Saturday morning, and one of the speakers reminded the law students of that fact–they didn't get here on their own, and it's important to recognize that we need family.

Do you have a family member you clash with? How do you deal with family conflicts?

A New Expression of Love

This weekend I've been more contemplative than usual. Weekends are typically calm and quiet for me lately. If I haven't got plans to go out of town for a family visit, I tend to spend several hours at home alone. It's nice in the sense that I get to relax and unwind my thoughts–I have had a hard time getting work off my mind lately, and it seems I let go best when I do a little housework or go to the gym. But on the other hand, I guess I've been feeling a little lonely during this time. Mike works most of the day during the weekend, and our weekdays are filled with work, school, and commuting.

Yesterday was Saturday and I was alone until Mike got off work and came over around 7pm. We went to dinner with some of our best friends and I enjoyed that very much. We are planning our wedding, and it tends to be the topic of conversation often–as it should be. My life is blessed beyond measure, so I shouldn't be able to find anything to complain about, right?

While driving home, my mind became my enemy and depression began to settle on me. I don't normally deal with depression, but I couldn't even muster the words to express how I was feeling. Mike and I sat in silence almost the whole way home, and then in the moment I hugged him to tell him "bye", I couldn't seem to end his embrace. I actually stood inside his arms–mine folded across my chest as I rested my head on his warm and sturdy frame.

All I could manage to say was, "I don't know what's wrong." Tears began to flow and I tried to explain my odd behavior. The basic thing it all boiled down to was that I felt unhappy with my day-to-day existence.

"I feel like I don't have anything to talk about outside of work. I don't want to talk about work, so I don't have much to say anymore. Even our time together is spent relaying the details of things we experienced throughout the day–we aren't experiencing much together. I'm bored with myself."

As I allowed these strange words to spew from my mouth and the tears to soak into his t-shirt, he held me close and listened. Once I had said all I could think, he began to encourage me and talk about ways we could change our situation. He talked about solutions. He had answers. He held me until I could see the truth about who I am and about why we are where we are and how we stay the course and continue to run towards our goals–both as individuals and as a couple.

This moment not only changed me, but it laid out another level of understanding and clarity of the love God commands of a man for his wife. I will be his wife very soon, and this messy moment showed me how much he really does love me. The Bible says that love edifies. To "edify" means to "build up." Even when I am wrong, love builds me up and lifts me above deception I allow myself to believe–like I did yesterday. God used this to show me how much I can trust Him. It's God that has brought me to this man. My God's love for me is even expressed through my husband-to-be!

God has spoken to me in such a dynamic way about His love for me as a Father. Healing has come in a complete way. I see now that He is about to unfold an entirely new expression of His love for me. I'm so thankful for my God and for His intense love! And I'm thankful that I will soon be married to the man that God knew I needed all along.

Learning the Strength of My Temptations

I picked up C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity again last night, and am really not sure how I set it down so long! The last time I read from it was in December, and I'm just over halfway through it. Every page is loaded with what I feel is rare wisdom shared in a clear and direct way.

He writes about how we only understand the strength of temptation when we finally stand against it. He explains this well by comparing the battle to a man walking against the wind. You don't know the strength of the wind if you lay down–you know it when you fight it.

This got me asking questions. Why should it matter that we know the strength of our temptation? What would be the benefit or purpose of knowing how strong our opponent is?

My pride answered this question first. I thought, "Well, if I understand the strength of my temptation and continue to stand against it, I can be reminded of how strong my character is and even be encouraged that I am being a good person." I hate to admit that, but that was my initial thought.

Thankfully, I was having this conversation in prayer, so I was listening for His voice, too. He quickly convicted and corrected me. "The purpose of knowing the strength of your temptations is not to remind you of how good and strong YOU are, but to reveal how good and strong I AM." Back to my senses! This is "mere Christianity!" I KNOW I am nothing apart from Him, but apparently I'm tempted to believe otherwise.

Last night, that reminded me of how good and strong He is and that ultimately it boils down to the fact that every bit of our life is to glorify Him–even our temptations can lead us to more truth if we remember that our strength is in Him. Who am I if not for Christ that is in me?

Looking for Purpose

A manifold purpose is clearly evident in all of creation, yet still so many of us question our own purpose. Some even convince themselves of the lie that they have NO purpose.

Simple creations have more obvious purposes than complex ones. Man is the most complex creature of all, so why wouldn't it take some time to understand our purpose?

Have patience for understanding to come. Only the Creator knows of every capability, every area of service you are perfect for. He knows every action that inspires your reaction, and every short path to the solutions to problems you face today. The only path to understanding–to TRUTH–is through the way of the Creator. Your Creator has every detail of your existence mapped out on the palm of His hand–etched into the flesh of His heart.

Seek your answers from Him alone. He's the only One with the original blueprint of your mind, heart, and soul–you want to understand purpose and truth for your life, so go to the source of Life and Light! Go after the Creator ALWAYS–every day! You will find all truth, life, and FREEDOM.